Nifty Type Tricks You'll Want to Save for Later

This is an interesting tidbit that you never know when you are going to need.  Some fun for Friday!

Tiny Text: http://txtn.us/tiny-text 
Example: ᴹᵃᵏᵉ ᶦᵗ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫ

Strike through: http://adamvarga.com/strike/ Example: s̶t̶r̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶t̶e̶x̶t̶

Upside down text: http://www.fliptext.org/ Example: uʍop ǝpısdn ʇxǝʇ ǝʇıɹʍ

Underline: http://thejh.net/misc/unicode-underline Example: u̲n̲d̲e̲r̲l̲i̲n̲e̲

Text length reduction: http://txtn.us/text-reduction Example: Sqᵫeze ㏌ ᇉtte₨. The ㎃ⅺm㎛ ᇉngth is ㏌creased by ㏇㏔㏌㏌g ᇉtte₨. These 3 sentenŒs saved 18 c㏊racte₨!

 Bubbles: http://txtn.us/text-bubble Example: Ⓢⓐⓨ ⓘⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓑⓤⓑⓑⓛⓔⓢ!

Wide Text: http://goo.gl/WrLfqr Example: Ｓｏｍｅ ｖｅｒｙ ｗｉｄｅ ｔｅｘｔ

Zalgo: http://eeemo.net/ Zalgo is cool, but takes up a lot of characters. So, only short messages work. Example: C̬̝̼͈͖̟͖r̹͓a͍z̙̗̻̳͖̳y̥͔̳ ̙͇͓Z͇̟͙a͇̩̠l̺͇̪̜̻g͙̹̩͍o͙̥͔̠ ͇Te̺̞̬x͈t̘̞

 Huge collection of complex unicode emoticons: https://gist.github.com/endolith/157796 Here are some of my favorites from the page: ✄---------❤

Friday Funny- Terrible Attorney Commercial

We haven't had a lot of good, and by good I mean terrible TV ads from attorneys lately.  My son came across this one yeaterday and it is a doozy.

Watch the world's most confusing attorney commercial here:

Feel Like Someone Died in Your House? There's an App for That!

Just in time for Halloween.

The answer to your creepy feelings?

 

Every since you've moved into your new place, things haven't gone quite right, have they?
You didn't get the promotion to senior office librarian. You suspect your lover is seeing someone else. And then there's those weird feelings when you go into the second bedroom.

It's not that you get a shiver down your spine. It's that something doesn't seem quite right, as if your possessions have been moved a few inches away from where you left them.
Let's be honest about a possible cause here: someone might have once died in your house. It might have been a peaceful, natural death. Or it might have been something more alarming, like death by stag-goring, or a seance gone wrong.

There's now a site that can help you in your quest to discover what spiritual lurkers might waft around your house.

It's called DiedInHouse.com. And it exists in order to tell you if someone once ceased existing within your walls.

DiedInHouse claims to search all 50 states for evidence of expiration. It promises something called a "certified report."

I couldn't resist. Things have been strange of late. This site might truly provide an answer. So I proceeded.

A single search costs $11.99, such a small price to pay for peace of mind and spirit.
Just as I was about to put my credit card number on the DiedInHouse collection plate, I came upon the disclaimer.

It began: "The materials appearing on any Simply Put Solutions, Inc. the creators of Died in House found at www.diedinhouse.com (DIH) web site and/or owned application could include technical, typographical, or photographic errors."

Simply put, I became concerned. But I read on: "DIH makes no representation, implied or expressed, that all information placed on any DIH web site or application is accurate. DIH does not warrant that any of the materials on its web sites or applications are accurate, complete, or current."

I began to get that same creepy feeling again. Then I came to this sentence: "Died in House does not guarantee to have all deaths that have occurred in or at a specific address; it is an informational use only type of service."

The problem is that the information may be useful of not. Yes, just like my tarot lady, my Ouija board lady, my palm reader, my spiritual guide, and my life coach.

However, being a man with even more spiritual issues than bottles of wine, I went through with the purchase.

The result came in just a couple of seconds: "Died in House did NOT find information relating a death to this address."

So now I can sleep more easily. But only slightly. Maybe that ex who described herself as having "waited all of my past lives and this one for someone like you" wasn't real at all.

Well, she did leave me for an undertaker.

Chris Matyszczyk

Chris Matyszczyk is an award-winning creative director who advises major corporations on content creation and marketing. He brings an irreverent, sarcastic, and sometimes ironic voice to the tech world.

The Worst Coporate Photo Ever

As an employee communication consultant, seminar leader, and trainer, I see lots of bad corporate visuals. The latest trend is "hostage videos," where an executive stares into the camera and reads a script, like someone captured by the Taliban.
And of course there's the old standbys: The "Execution at Dawn" photos, where you line up a bunch of people against a wall and "shoot" them; and the ever-present "Grip and Grin," where the photographer manages to take the shot at that precise, magical moment when both people have their hands on the prop—be it a plaque, a trophy, or a check.
But I may have recently come across the worst corporate photo of all time. A communicator friend sent it to me, after she pulled it from her company's archives. Here it is:

Oh, my. Where does one begin?

Well, I guess we have to begin with the fact that they decided to take a groundbreaking photo indoors! That's right . . . if the picture is to be believed, these yahoos are about to start driving their shovels into the floor of their office!
 
I've seen thousands of stupid groundbreaking pictures ... but this is the first one I've ever seen taken indoors! This is real "man bites dog" stuff. As my source wrote in her email when she sent me the picture:

"That's right, even when there was no ground to break, someone thought the ol' shovel pose was appropriate!"

They sure did! I would love to know the thinking behind this. I imagine it went something like this:
Burned Out, Hung Over Corporate Editor: "We need a cover photo for this month's newsletter. Anybody win an award this month? Did we get a shot of someone handing over one of those big checks? Christ, I'm sick of this."

Fresh-faced Intern: "No sir, Chief. I've been pounding the pavement every day, but it's a slow news cycle. But I finally got wind of a scoop! I heard we're breaking ground on that new facility over in Muncie tomorrow. We could bring the shovels and get a groundbreaking shot! I think I can even round up some shiny hard hats for the leadership team to wear!"

Burned Out, Hung Over Corporate Editor: "Oh damn, boy. Muncie's like, two hours away. And it's supposed to rain. I don't want to lug all those shovels over there and get rained on. We got rained on once at one of these things and it took us three hours to clean the damn shovels and get them all shiny again."

Fresh-faced Intern: "Uh, I don't see where we have a choice, Chief. That's where the ground is being broken. Got to go where the story is, right? Boots on the ground!"
 
Burned Out, Hung Over Corporate Editor: "The hell we don't have a choice! You got to think outside the corporate box, son! We can do the groundbreaking shot right here in the lobby! Go round up the usual suspects, get the shovels from the prop closet, make a sign, and we'll shoot it right here. We'll save four hours of driving and stay nice and dry."

Fresh-faced Intern: "But …. but …. a groundbreaking shot indoors? That doesn't make sense."
Burned Out, Hung Over Corporate Editor: "Son, let me let you in on a little secret. Nobody reads the damn newsletter anyway. We could put a picture of the CEO burying the mayor's severed head with a shovel and nobody would notice. Let's just get 'er done."

And besides the fact that it's a groundbreaking photo taken inside, there are so many other things wrong with the photo, it's hard to know where to begin to talk about it.

What's the first thing you see on the left side of the photo? That's right … a disembodied arm! It's just kind of floating there. And take a close look at what it's doing: It seems to be pulling a string out of that old man's zipper! What in the hell goes on at this company?

And speaking of that old man, what the heck is he doing? He's obviously not supposed to be in the shot, or they'd have given him a shovel. After all, they have an extra one, leaning against the wall over to the right!!

And he's not even looking at the camera. He looks like he just stumbled in from a four-martini lunch and wandered into the picture because he couldn't find his cube. This guy may have been the first-ever photo bomber!
Then you have the next two guys, who are taking this pose very seriously. You just know these are a couple of those Six Sigma Black Belt types, and they probably think they really are going to drive those shovels through the carpet and into the foundation of the building. And they're ready!
 

Then of course you have the obligatory sign. The only problem is, you can't read it, partly because the girly cowboy dude is blocking half of it! And speaking of the girly cowboy dude, what's going on with the way he's standing? He looks like he just climbed down from Brokeback Mountain!

He also seems to be engaged in probably the most awkward handshake of all time, with that big bearded guy. It looks like the bearded giant is actually trying to snap the cowboy's wrist.

And then we end with that odd, lone shovel. Just kind of leaning against the wall. Is the guy with the string hanging out of his zipper supposed to be posing with it? Did someone else not show up? Is it there as back up in case one of those Sigma guys really does try to dig into the floor and he breaks his shovel in two? We'll never know.

Any one of these elements would make this a bad photo. But when you put them all together, you get what might be the worst corporate photo of all time.

Great Quotes From This Year's Crop of Graduation Speeches

Graduation season is nearly here.

Here’s a sampling of a dozen quotes from commencement addresses through the years that stand out for being unexpected, funny, or truly memorable.

1. Aaron Sorkin to Syracuse University in May 2012

“Make no mistake about it, you are dumb. You’re a group of incredibly, well-educated dumb people. I was there. We all were there. You’re barely functional. There are some screw-ups headed your way. I wish I could tell you that there was a trick to avoiding the screw-ups, but the screw-ups, they’re a-coming for ya. It’s a combination of life being unpredictable, and you being super dumb.”

2. Conan O’Brien to his alma mater Harvard University in May 2000

“As you leave these gates and re-enter society, one thing is certain. Everyone out there is going to hate you. Never tell anyone in a roadside diner that you went to Harvard. In those situations, the correct response to, ‘Where did you go to school?’ is ‘School? I never had much in the way of book learnin’ and such.’ And then get in your BMW and get the hell out of there.”

3. Stephen Colbert to his alma mater Northwestern University in June 2011

“In 1986, our commencement speaker was George Schultz, secretary of state, fourth in line to the president. You get me—basic cable’s second most popular fake newsman. At this rate, the class of 2021 will be addressed by a zoo parrot in a mortar-board that has been trained to say “congratulations.”

4. J. K. Rowling to Harvard University in June 2008

“I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.”

5. Bono to the University of Pennsylvania in May 2004

“I love America because America is not just a country, it’s an idea. You see my country, Ireland, is a great country, but it’s not an idea. America is an idea, but it’s an idea that brings with it some baggage, like power brings responsibility. It’s an idea that brings with it equality, but equality, even though it’s the highest calling, is the hardest to reach. The idea that anything is possible, that’s one of the reasons why I’m a fan of America. It’s like ‘Hey, look there’s the moon up there, let’s take a walk on it, bring back a piece of it.’ That’s the kind of America that I’m a fan of.”

6. Theodor Seuss Geisel to Lake Forest College in June 1977

His speech, in its entirety:

“My uncle ordered popovers
from the restaurant’s bill of fare.
And, when they were served,
he regarded them
with a penetrating stare
Then he spoke great Words of Wisdom
as he sat there on that chair:
‘To eat these things,’
said my uncle,
‘you must exercise great care.
You may swallow down what’s solid
BUT
you must spit out the air!
And
as you partake of the world’s bill of fare,
that’s darned good advice to follow.
Do a lot of spitting out the hot air.
And be careful what you swallow.’”

7. Margaret Atwood to the University Of Toronto in June 1983

“It is to Victoria College that I can attribute the fact that Bell Canada, Oxford University Press and McClelland and Stewart all failed to hire me in the summer of ‘63, on the grounds that I was a) overqualified and b) couldn’t type, thus producing in me that state of joblessness, angst and cosmic depression which everyone knows is indispensable for novelists and poets, although nobody has ever claimed the same for geologists, dentists or chartered accountants.”

8. Gloria Steinem to Tufts University in May 1987

“I am terminally sentimental about graduations. They are more individual than weddings, more conscious than christenings, or bar mitzvahs or bat mitzvahs. They are almost as much a step into the unknown as funerals—though I assure you, there is life after graduation.”

9. Michael Dell to the University of Texas in 2003

“Try never to be the smartest person in the room. And if you are, I suggest you invite smarter people or find a different room. In professional circles it’s called networking. In organizations it’s called team building. And in life it’s called family, friends, and community. We are all gifts to each other, and my own growth as a leader has shown me again and again that the most rewarding experiences come from my relationships.”

10. Bill Gates to Harvard in 2007

“I’ve been waiting more than 30 years to say this: ‘Dad, I always told you I’d come back and get my degree.’ I want to thank Harvard for this honor. I’ll be changing my job next year and it will be nice to finally have a college degree on my resume!”

11. Steve Jobs to Stanford in 2005

“Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new…. Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition.”

12. Nora Ephron to her alma mater Wellesley in 1996

“Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.”

I don’t remember the commencement speaker at my graduation. Do you?

Becky Gaylord worked as a reporter for more than 15 years in Washington, D.C.; Sydney, Australia; and Cleveland, Ohio for major publications including The New York Times, Salon.com, Business Week, The Wall Street Journal, and was associate editor of the Plain Dealer's Editorial Page before she launched the consulting practice, Gaylord LLC. Republished with permission, courtesy of 12 Most.

Welcome Back From Spring Break!

That is, if unlike me, you actually managed to get away.  Its tough to get back int he swing of things after such a long week either relaxing or trying to get things done at work while everyone else is relaxing.  So here's something fun to get your week started off right.

The Happiness Project

I attended the Greater Houston Women's Chamber of Commerce luncheon yesterday and heard 
Gretchen Rubin speak about her new  #1 New York Times and international bestseller The Happiness Project.  The book is an account of the year she spent test-driving the wisdom of the ages, the current scientific studies, and the lessons from popular culture about how to be happier. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she reports on her daily adventures in the pursuit of happiness.

A graduate of Yale and Yale Law School, where she was Editor-in-Chief of the Yale Law Journal and winner of the Edward M. Cullen Prize, Rubin started her career in law, and she was clerking for Justice Sandra Day O'Connor when she realized she really wanted to be a writer.

Her bestselling Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill and Forty Ways to Look at JFK are succinct, provocative biographies.

Great tips for achieving happiness at home and not feeling guilty about it.  Here are my favorites of her tips:

1. Make your bed. 
2. Enjoy the good smells of home. Take a moment to appreciate the fragrance of a grapefruit or freshly laundered towels.
3. Every room should include something purple.

Friday Funny: Craziest Excuses for Calling in Sick to Work

Every year, CareerBuilder enlists the researchers at Harris Interactive to survey hiring managers and HR professionals about the excuses they hear when employees call in sick.
You can't possibly make this stuff up.

As CareerBuilder is careful to point out:

"In the past year, 30 percent of workers have called in sick when not actually ill, keeping on par with previous years. Sick days, legitimate or otherwise, also become more frequent around the winter holidays, with nearly one-third of employers reporting more employees call in sick during the holiday season."

Craziest excuses
Take a look at this list CareerBuilder compiled from the survey. You may have heard some of these yourself.

When asked to share the most memorable excuses, employers reported the following real-life examples:

• Employee's sobriety tool wouldn't allow the car to start.
• Employee forgot he was hired for the job.
• Employee said her dog was having a nervous breakdown.
• Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation.
• Employee's toe was stuck in a faucet.
• Employee said a bird bit her.
• Employee was upset after watching "The Hunger Games."
• Employee got sick from reading too much.
• Employee was suffering from a broken heart.
• Employee's hair turned orange from dying her hair at home.

29 percent of bosses check up on excuses
 
The survey also found that a fair number of managers want to verify if sick workers are actually sick.
This was a big issue for me when I was a manager in Hawaii in a union shop, and mysteriously had a number of the surfers on staff call in sick when the surf was particularly large. I never caught any of them surfing when they should have been home in bed, but that was more because I didn't have the time or resources to track all of them down.

Twenty-nine percent of employers say they have checked up on an employee to verify that his or her illness was legitimate, usually by requiring a doctor's note or calling the employee later in the day.
Another 18 percent of employers have had other employees call a suspected faker, and 14 percent have even driven by the employee's home.
All in all, some 17 percent of employers say they have fired employees for giving fake excuses.
Here are some other facts from the survey:

• Some 31 percent of employers notice an uptick in sick days around the winter holidays.
• Twenty percent of employers say their employees call in sick the most in December.
• July is the second most popular month to skip out on work, followed by January and February.

Next to actually being sick, the most common reasons employees call in sick are:

• They don't feel like going to work (34 percent).
• They feel like they need to relax (29 percent).
• They need to make it to a doctor's appointment (22 percent).
• They need to catch up on sleep (16 percent).
• They need to run errands (15 percent).

Media Masters Soccer Team Undefeated!

If you haven't already heard on ESPN, the Media Masters Klein 8 and under soccer team "Green Fire" is 3-0 undefeated!  We're all rooting for the Texans Monday night of course, but the real excitement is in Northwest Houston at Meyer Park. 
We will keep you up to date as the season progresses!

Friday Funny: Lawyer Dog Meme

Its just too hot here in Houston to do any heavy reading- so here's something to bring you a chuckle...

Friday Funny from Lawyer Dog

What Do PR Consultants Actually Do?

What Your Favorite Websites Looked Like at Launch

It seems the only things that look better with age are Sean Connery, wine and Internet sites. I came across this really interesting story including all the original design layouts for such sites as Google, Amazon and You Tube. Its like stepping into a time machine and playing Atari on a console TV. Pretty neat. Click here to see them all.

Lip Dub Video Goes Viral

Check out this viral video produced by University students to help promote a retirement community comprised of retired Methodist ministers. Its got over a million hits and has helped the group with marketing and new members. Also its just a fun video.

Check it out!

Must Watch Video: Customer Complaint Goes Viral

Check out this brilliant video made by Alamo Draft House for one of their famous before the movie warning about talking during a movie. There really isn't any legal connotation to it- Its just a very clever way to spread a message. Plus, its very light and entertaining for sweltering Monday.
Enjoy!

Former Governor Charlie Crist: the Florida Hammer?

Until today, it seemed that the most embarrassing moment of Charlie Crist's post-gubernatorial career would be this court-ordered YouTube apology to the Talking Heads.

But now the former Republican Florida governor and failed independent Senate candidate has gone on the air with one of those "I'll get you the settlement you deserve" personal injury ads:

He asks viewers to "visit me at Charlie@ForThePeople.com." How do you visit an email address?

The Top Ten Most Disliked Videos on the Net

Justin Bieber is one of the most popular people on YouTube—his video for “Baby” topped 500,000 million views—but he also ranks among the most disliked.

Here’s the list of 10, from ReadWriteWeb:

1. “Baby” – Justin Bieber (1,168,764)
2. “Friday” – Rebecca Black (1,224,048)
3. “Never Say Never” (ft. Jaden Smith) – Justin Bieber (97,152)
4. “Somebody to Love Remix” (ft. Usher) – Justin Bieber (87,911)
5. “Bad Romance” – Lady Gaga (82,560)
6. “One Less Lonely Girl” – Justin Bieber (77,910)
7. “Never Let You Go” – Justin Bieber (74,129)
8. “Charlie bit my finger—again!” – HDCYT (73,547)
9. “Chocolate Rain” – Tay Zonday (70,317)
10. “Evolution of Dance” – Judson Laipply (63,238)

Fun for Friday

If imitation is still the highest form of flattery, then the fake Twitter account (FTA) is gold in the realm of social media validation.

As the Twitterverse took note of the pun-laden ramblings of an escaped cobra this week, we were inspired to share some of our favorite FTAs:

@FakeAPStylebook Slightly more entertaining and certainly as informative as the real thing: @APStylebook. The account even landed its authors a book deal.

@BPGlobalPR The FTA took a social consciousness bent after last year’s BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Josh Simpson was outed as the feed’s clever creator. The tweets have fallen off as we’re more removed from the disaster, but it was good to see such clever satire of an otherwise tragic incident.

@Nick_Nolte If you’re easily made to feel uncomfortable, you may not want to follow this feed, which is based on the hard-partying actor. Among its printable recent tweets: “Went into a Nordstrom Rack thinkin it was a special store just for buxom ladies. Left disappointed.”

@TracyJordanTGS Fans of NBC’s “30 Rock” surely appreciate this faux account, written from the perspective of Tracy Morgan’s gregariously random character.

@DianaInHeaven Tasteless? Probably. Funny? More often than not.

@Goose_Island_PR News that the Chicago microbrewery had been purchased by Anhuseser-Busch was hours old when this fake account was started. It was clear from the account’s second tweet that it would be swinging for the satirical fences: “The sale of Goose Island was not a sell-out; it doesn't count as a sell out until you hit $40 million. $38 million is really nothing.”

@DrTobiasFunke The TV series “Arrested Development” may be long gone, but one of its lovable characters—David Cross’ Dr. Tobias Funke—lives on in our hearts … and on Twitter.

Gone, but not forgotten:

These accounts entertained us until they ceased to exist. Thankfully, we can look back and chuckle: @MayorEmanuel, @fakechucknorris, @fakesarahpalin, @AbeVigoda, and the dozens of fake Steve Jobs accounts that have been abandoned in Twitter’s five-year existence.

From Ragan.com

Ten Hilariously Awful Lawyer Ads

Turn off your brain for about 10 minutes today and see what happens when lawyers and mindless marketing collide! I promise you will get a good laugh!
Awful lawyer videos

11 Most Bizarre News Stories of 2011

Before we plunge head-long into 2011, lets take some time this lethargic Monday (oh admit it- you're having trouble getting motivated today) and reflect on the strangest, you-can't-make-this-stuff-up moments of 2010 news coverage. Who can forget the man who put his soul up on ebay? Or the Spanish woman who claimed to own the sun?
http://www.businessinsider.com/bizarre-news-of-2010-2010-12#